Joining with The Gypsy Mama for a five minute un-edited free write about the topic of her choice:
I think I have a tendency to live life backwards. Recently I have realized that I spend a lot of my time looking in my rear view mirror rather than facing straight ahead. Somehow, reliving the past few years of motherhood, my teaching career pre-motherhood, my high school days and ultimately my childhood have become the focus of my inner thoughts.
Maybe it is because I am turning 39 this year. A last chance kind of birthday - a live it to the fullest year ahead - a finality of my young adulthood. Knowing that soon I will be 40 doesn't scare me or make me feel terrible as much as it has caused me to look back, to see what I have done and been and what will never be again. Never again will I be the new young mother, the blushing June bride, the youngest teacher on the teaching staff of any school. And I am really OK with that. Youth has is benefits but the wisdom of middle age far outweighs them.
So I will give myself this last thirty-something year to remember, to honor and to savor what was and cannot and should not be ever again. I will pass the torch to those ten and twenty years behind me on this journey. And when I turn 40, I will face forward, fearlessly, toward the new best years of my life.